How to make space for a change in your life
- Jane Shersher, LCSW
- Mar 11, 2018
- 4 min read
When you are entering a major life transition, it's important to set yourself up for success by making space for emotional and mental progress. That means, if you want to have time and energy to work out and process what decisions are the right ones for your life, you'll need to set up some solid maintenance systems in your current lifestyle. Here are some tips for this...
Ask for advice and do your research
You have google and youtube at your fingertips- together, they can answer almost any question that you may have (to better inform you about which direction to change in). Seek out mentors that you can trust and process your feelings and thoughts with reliable friends and family members whenever possible. Some coworkers can even be helpful as well, just use your best judgement on that one! Don't forget, a therapist can be massively helpful during times of transition and indecision. Even seeking out the company of a therapeutic group could be great in order to bounce ideas off of other group members and learn from their stories/experiences. Making important life choices or facing big changes in your life alone is not necessary when you have a community at your fingertips to guide you through it, so go ahead and reach out to helpful people all around you!
Get Rest!
Sleep and unwinding after a long day is so important if you are about to make a big change in your life! Make sure that you are at around 7-8 hours of sleep but don't exceed 8 hours if you can help it- too much time in bed will get you complacent and could be a sign of depression. If you don't sleep the right amount, it will be difficult to have a clear mind for facing those big life choices that are involved with change.
Be Active
Being immobile all day won't help you to feel like you can tackle the world. Keep moving, walk at least 30-60 minutes a day and do cardio workouts if you can! Try to take the stairs instead of the elevator, do some lunges and squats every hour if you are sitting all day. Moving around will not only keep your brain active, it will ensure that fluids including your lymphatic system and your blood are flowing throughout your body as they need to. It will also get your digestive system going, which is so important for a clear mind when facing big changes. Being active helps your heart to pump oxygenated blood to your brain which will help you to focus and keep stress at bay.
Focus on developing your emotional intelligence
Decision-making, time management, healthy and effective communication patterns, anger management, being assertive, flexible, trusting, and accountable are all attributes that help make your life easier with the people that you work and live with. Having high emotional intelligence will encourage you to establish and maintain helpful levels of empathy and collaboration that will encourage people within your community to offer their support when you need it most. Overall, emotional intelligence helps you to focus on responding rather than reacting, which is a very empowering way to get what you want and to also serve the needs of others around you simultaneously.
Be Mission-Driven
Pursue your passion regularly: this often serves as the strongest engine for retaining forward momentum. It is critical to ask yourself, “why am I doing what I am doing?” on a regular basis.
Keep your goals clear and be respectful of other people's need for productivity whenever you can: both can be equal priorities in order to maintain that healthy balance.
Lean into Delegation & Accountability
Think of a coworker, friend, spouse, technology tool, or application to hold you accountable whenever possible. Report to them about exercising every day or studying for that license exam. Tell them what you put in your morning smoothie to have someone to report to. Riding on the repercussion of the shame wave (of disappointing a trusted colleague) can be a powerful tool to utilize.
Automate processes such as timing tasks and scheduling short burst interval exercises in between chunks of work whenever you can. Hacks such as making appointments automatically by linking your calendar to services like “You Can Book Me” and including the link to your profile in your email signature (that way if someone wants to meet with you, tell them to reserve a spot on your calendar by clicking the link that automatically generates with each email and reflects when you are available) can save you a ton of accumulated time and energy. Appointments are automatically scheduled in your calendar passively without your participation and you can reschedule whenever you want. Hacks like these are valuable because little jobs creep up on us- we may think that an email doesn’t take much out of us, but did you know that the average number of simple email exchanges between parties agreeing on a time and place to meet is typically 7? If you cut that hassle out you can meditate in that time saved instead! Make tools work for you not the other way around!
Stop for three minutes to focus on your pattern of breathing:
Take conscious deep breaths in and out and keep a solid spinal sitting and standing posture whenever you can with your heart forward and shoulders down and back. This simple exercise will help to calm your central nervous system down and this in turn will help you to be more productive in a controlled and non-hectic / reactive way. Try setting a reminder to check in on yourself every two hours and to also take a minute to run up a flight of stairs or stretch your body - that will get your breath going!
We hope that by implementing these actions and perspectives you will have more space to step aside and focus on the big decisions you are about to make. Life transitions and changes are important, so give them the time and attention that they demand whenever you can. Good luck and reach out to us so that we can guide you through it all!
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